


if i could tell him

by nb_bumblebee



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M, Multi, This Is Sad, created by Bee, sorry connor you know i had to do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 11:24:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12131409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nb_bumblebee/pseuds/nb_bumblebee
Summary: connor falls in love with evan, who's in love with jared, who loves evan. one-shot.





	if i could tell him

It was finally time.

Connor was finally out of rehab.

Evan, his sweet Evan, who had been there for him every step of the way, was there now, in his kitchen, wearing a stupid party hat and smiling like an idiot. “Are you feeling okay? Have you eaten yet? I have some trail mix in my backpack if you want-”

Connor laughed and put a hand on Evan’s arm. “Ev, I’m fine. When are Zoe and Alana getting here?”

Evan checked his phone, eyes lighting up. “They're almost here! _Sorry it took so long, J made cupcakes!!_ ” He read. Connor frowned. “J?” He couldn't mean-

“Hey!!!” Zoe’s voice came from the entrance to the Murphy home. Half a moment later, she was entering the kitchen, wearing a party hat. She had put indigo streaks in her hair again. Connor genuinely thought it was pretty cool.

Zoe’s girlfriend, Alana, popped in a moment later, party hat crooked on her head and hands full with two large containers. Zoe kissed her on the cheek and took a container, setting it on the kitchen island. As Zoe kissed Evan on the cheek and started filling him in on how the drive was, Alana turned and yelled, “JARED! Get your head in the game!”

To Connor’s chagrin, Jared entered the kitchen, arms full of three more cupcake holders. “Jesus, Alana.” He gasped, dropping the cupcakes on the island and greeting Zoe with a wave, Alana with an icy glare and a side hug, and Evan with a kiss.

Wait.

Connor couldn't believe it.

His Evan, his sweet lovely ray of sunshine Evan, was kissing asshole of the year _Jared_.

“Oh!” Evan stepped away from Jared, blushing madly. “Uh, Connor, you've met my boyfriend Jared, right?”

Connor shook his head slowly. “I…haven't. Hey.” He coolly nodded at Jared.

Jared smiled at him, a genuine smile. “Hey, Murphy. Congrats.”

The kitchen filled with an uncomfortable silence, and Zoe coughed loudly. “Well! My parents should be here soon, we should get setting up. Connor, wanna help me with the table setting?”

Connor nodded numbly as Zoe lead him to the dining room.

\---

_“There's nothing like your smile. Sort of subtle and perfect and real. You don't know how wonderful that smile can make someone feel.”_

Evan was seated between Jared and his dad at dinner, and the smile on his face made Connor melt as much as the fact that he'd been holding Jared’s hand the whole time pissed him off.

_“Whenever you get bored, you pick at the cuffs of your jeans, and you still check out those airplane kits in the back of nature magazines.”_

Connor looked around the table- his mother, smiling softly as she watched Zoe and Alana and sipped white wine, his sister and her girlfriend making eachother laugh, Jared talking conspiracy theories and Evan listening with a lovestruck smile.

Maybe Jared wasn't so bad, if he made Evan feel like he was on Cloud Nine, like he was a young god.

_“I thought you looked pretty good when you decided to grow out your hair, and I wonder how you learned to sing like the rest of the world isn't there.”_

“So, tonight is a pretty big night.” Zoe said from her place at the table. “My brother, Connor, is out of rehab, and I could not be more proud. We haven't had the best relationship in the past, but I hope that this fresh start means we can work on repairing it. If anyone else would like to speak, the floor is yours.” She tilted her glass in Connor’s direction and sat as his mother stood.

“Connor...you've always been my son. No matter how angry I've gotten in the past, no matter the fights we've had, I still love you. I hope that we can become mother and son again.” She sat and nudged her husband, who gave her a tight-lipped smile. “Welcome back, son.”

The familiar uncomfortable silence settled over the table, but then Evan stood.

“I haven't known Connor as long as his family has, but I think it's safe to say I know him well. And Connor…you've come so far. You've got an amazing family, and friends that will stick by you no matter what. I'm always here, Connor.”

The silence as Evan sat down (and as Jared put an arm around him and kissed his cheek, mumbling about how well he had spoken) was broken by Zoe clapping. The rest of the table joined in as Zoe stood to bring out the cupcakes.

Connor caught Evan’s eye, and Evan smiled earnestly.

_“But we’re a million worlds apart,  
And I don't know how I would even start.”_


End file.
